How to Set Up an Online Condolence Book for a Funeral or Memorial

When someone dies, the people who knew them want to say something to the family. Some will be at the funeral; many won't. An online condolence book gives everyone a place to share a memory, a photo or a few words, and gives the family something to read when they're ready.

This guide is for whoever has been asked to organise it: a family member, a close friend or the funeral director.

What an online condolence book is

It's a private page where people leave messages for the family. With a QR code at the service, guests can write on their phone instead of queuing at a book by the door. With a link in the funeral notice or a message to friends, people who can't travel can contribute too.

Unlike a social media post, it's private to the people you share it with, and the family can download everything afterwards to keep.

Why families choose one

People who can't attend can still take part. Friends overseas, former colleagues, people who are unwell. Often the most moving messages come from people the family has never met.

Photos the family has never seen. Guests can add photos: the deceased at work, on holiday, at a party thirty years ago. These are often the most treasured part.

Voices. A short voice note sharing a memory can mean a great deal later.

It can be read later, at your own pace. Nobody has to read a book at the wake. The messages are there in a week, a month or a year.

A printed copy. The messages can be downloaded as a PDF and printed for family members who would rather hold a book.

How to set one up

1. Create the book. Give it the person's name and the date of the service. Choose a calm, simple theme. With DigiGuestbook you can create a funeral guestbook in a few minutes; it's free for up to 10 messages.

2. Write a short welcome line. Something like "Please share a memory of Margaret, or a message for the family." A gentle prompt helps people who don't know what to write.

3. Turn on message approval if you'd like to read messages before they appear on any screen.

4. Share the link early. Put it in the funeral notice, the email or message announcing the service, and any online notice. People who can't come often want to write straight away.

5. Print the QR code for the service. Place it at the entrance and on the tables at the wake. A small card that reads "Share a memory of Margaret" with the code is enough.

6. Consider a screen at the wake. Photos and messages appearing on a screen can be a comfort, and often prompt people to share stories. Only do this if it feels right for your family.

What to write in a condolence message

If you're a guest and unsure what to write, keep it simple and specific:

• Say who you are and how you knew them.
• Share one memory, however small: something they said, a kindness, a time you laughed together.
• Offer a few words for the family.

For example: "I worked with John for twelve years. He was the first to bring cake in on someone's birthday and the last to leave when a job needed finishing. Thinking of you all."

Keeping the messages

Plan how the family will keep the messages before the book closes. A paid plan includes downloads of every photo and voice note, a printable PDF and 12 months online, which gives the family time to come back to it. You can see the details on the pricing page.

The same approach works for a celebration of life or a memorial held months later.